The Lyrics of Lexi

If I believe

2010-08-21T03:02:00.000-07:00

Text edited from e. e. cummings' if i believe.

if i believe
in death be sure
of this
it is

because you have loved me,
moon and sunset
stars and flowers
gold creshendo and silver muting

of seatides

darkness and beauty of stars
was on my mouth petals danced
against my eyes
and down

the singing reaches of
my soul

i knew thee death.

and when
i have offered up each fragrant
night,

from the ashes
then
thou wilt rise and thou
wilt come to her and brush

the mischief from her eyes and fold
her
with

thy unimaginable
wings,where dwells the breath
of all persisting stars

Wrong Lane

2008-04-05T19:43:00.001-07:00

When he asked me what was wrong I didn't know quite what to say
I thought for a moment and said I want to get away
And just like that he handed me his keys
Said "Be careful with the car please"
And he was gone

Sometimes
I feel
Like I'm

Going 100 miles an hour in the wrong lane
I know what stopping takes
But I just can't find the brakes
Going 100 miles an hour in the wrong lane
Don't want to feel the crash
Don't want to feel my body smash

There's adventure in the air
You can feel it in your hair
When you drive with the windows down
You're not sure where you're going
And you're not sure that you care
Just as long as you don't die as you try to get there

Sometimes
It feels
Like I'm

Going 100 miles an hour in the wrong lane
I know what stopping takes
But I just can't find the brakes
Going 100 miles an hour in the wrong lane
Don't want to feel the crash
Don't want to feel my body smash

And the cars keep coming at you
On the wrong side of the road
On the wrong side of the road
At least you won't get bored
Going 100 miles an hour in the wrong lane
I know what stopping takes
But I just can't find the brakes
Going 100 miles an hour in the wrong lane
Don't want to feel the crash
Don't want to feel my body smash

Going 100 miles an hour in the wrong lane
I know what stopping takes
But I just can't find the brakes
Going 100 miles an hour in the wrong lane
Don't want to feel the crash
Don't want to feel the crash

A Carol to My King

2008-03-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

written for my grandma's funeral, a sort of non-medley-ish-compilation of a few hymns

I know that my Redeemer lives; What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives to comfort me when faint. He lives to hear my soul’s complaint.
O to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee.

He lives, my kind, wise, heavenly Friend; He lives and loves me to the end.
He lives, and while He lives I’ll sing: He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.
Teach me some melodious sonnet sung by flaming tongues above;
Praise the mount; I’m fixed upon it: Mount of thy redeeming love.

He lives to silence all my fears. He lives to wipe away my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled heart. He lives, all blessings to impart.

There is music in my soul today, a carol to my King
And Jesus, listening, can hear the songs I cannot sing.

INTERLUDE

He lives, all glory to His name! He lives, my Savior, still the same!
Oh sweet the joy this sentence gives: I know that my Redeemer lives!

Your Dance

2008-03-11T19:26:00.000-07:00

It's morning on the Eastern Shore
The clouds aren't coming anymore

We tried to say goodbye to rain
Let the sorrow waters drain

Let go of yesterday
Mix color with the grey
We'll wake up with the sun
Life goes on

It's twilight on the mountains
Sinking sunlight fountains on display
Nothing here to keep you
I guess you can put on your shoes and walk away

It's time to say hello
To tomorrow
We'll get up with the sun
Life goes on

Sing as if you've never sung
Spin as if you've never spun
Laugh long
Drink deep
Life is your dance

It's night on the Pacific Coast
The wind is howling like a ghost

We tried to say goodbye to rain
Let the sorrow waters drain

Let go of yesterday
Mix color with the gray
It's time to say hello
To tomorrow
We'll get up with the sun
Life goes

Mmh, life is your dance

Before

2008-03-06T15:05:00.000-08:00

She asked
Why are you still here
You could see th tears that lined her eyes
Her grief was deep
She didn't think you could reply

It's all to hear the birds
It's all to see the sun
It's all to taste the rain
You don't remember where we came from

You didn't sleep that night
Neither did she
The memories too fresh for once to ever put away
And angels stood beside

It's all to hear a song
It's all to see a dance
It's all to smell the sea
You don't remember what we used to be

I remember
What we used to be
That's why I'm still here

She asked how you could stay
She didn't think you could reply
But you did

It's all to hear the birds
It's all to see the sun
It's all to taste the rain
You don't remember where we came from
It's all to hear a song
It's all to see a dance
It's all to smell the sea
You don't remember what we used to be
It's all to feel warmth
To understand
To love
To learn
It's all to teach
To know
To wait
It's all to see the things I never saw
You don't remember what it was like
Before

James

2008-02-07T21:52:00.000-08:00

for my brother

It's been four hours since you went to bed
But I know sleep hasn't touched your eyes
She only wants for you to rest your head
But you sit awake alone for hours every night

And I'm not there
But I wish I were
I would hold your hand
And sing you all your songs

Good night
This is my song for you
A song you'll never hear
And words you'll never know, oh
Good night
I hope that sleep comes some day
And when it does, I hope you know I love
I love you

The darkness is so pale with moonlight coming through the cracks
Of curtains in your room
Light up the gloom, yeah
If you could sing I bet you would
You never liked to be alone

And I'm not there
But I wish I were
I would hold your hand
And sing you all your songs

Good night
This is my song for you
A song you'll never hear
And words you'll never know, oh
Good night
I hope that sleep comes someday
And when it does, I hope you know I love

I never knew how much I owed to you
How much I owed
I never knew how much I owe to you

Good night
This is my song for you
A song you'll never hear
And words you'll never know, oh
Good night
I hope that sleep comes someday
And when it does, I hope you know

Good night, good night
This is my song
A song you'll never hear, oh
Good night
I hope that sleep comes someday
I hope you know I love

I love you

Tribute to T.S. Eliot, August 2007

2008-01-28T09:33:00.000-08:00

lyrics adapted from his "Burnt Norton."

If all time is eternally present
Then all time is unredeemable
What might have been
And what has been
Come to one end

Footsteps echo in the memory
Through the pathways which we did not take
Toward the door we never opened
Into the garden

But to what purpose
Disturbing the dust on a bowl of roses?
I don't know.

Through the first gate
Into our first world
Shall we follow the deception of the thrush?
In the autumn heat
And through the vibrant air
The bird calls

In response to unheard music, hidden
And the unseen eyebeam crossed for the roses

So we moved
And they
In a formal pattern--

And the pool was filled with sunlight
And the lotus rose quietly
Quietly

Quietly, quietly

Go, go, go
Said the bird
Humankind
Cannot bear very much
Reality

Well and Good

2008-01-23T09:29:00.001-08:00

I don't know what you're lookin for
And it looks like neither do you
Will you let this go on forever
Are you waiting for a clue

Because I'm so tired of wondering what's going on, yeah
I'm so tired of thinkin I've done something wrong, yeah
Can you hear my voice
Maybe you should make your choice

But it's all well and good
Yeah it's all well and good

I don't know what you're thinkin
As you watch me walk away
But if it means anything to you
Maybe you oughta say

Because I'm so tired of trying to read your mind, yeah
I'm so tired of bein left so far behind, yeah
I don't understand
Why don't you hold my hand

But it's all well and good
Yeah it's all well and good

I don't know what you're doin
Are you leading me on or not
I don't know what to think anymore
Cuz you're everything I've fought
Not to feel, yeah

I'm so tired of not knowin what to think, yeah
I'm mired in quicksand and I'm just trying not to sink, yeah
I just don't know
Where this will go

But it's all well and good
Yeah it's all well and good

Well, it's all well and good that you don't know what to say
But I know you have my number and you could call it anyway, yeah
It's all well and good that you're feeling kinda scared
But I don't know what to tell you, the whole world's unprepared

So I guess that we're just friends.
The end.

But it's all well and good
Yeah it's all well and good (see if I care)
All well and good (see if I care)

I don't know what you're lookin for
And it looks like neither do you

Fountain of Youth, December 2007

2007-12-29T16:15:00.000-08:00

Take off your shoes
And, barefoot, feel the ground
Embrace the breeze
Celebrate solitude
There's no one around

Can you feel the moon against your skin
The wind blow through your hair
The stars being your guides
There's no excuse
For the universe and you

Wade through the water
Cool and clear
Silence is the only sound
Ringing through the atmosphere

Can you feel the moon against your skin
The wind blow through your hair
The stars being your guides
There's no excuse
For the universe and you

The fountain of youth is just a step away
Men have died to find it
Here it is
What else do you think would have brought you here

Drink deep

updated website

2007-12-25T19:04:00.001-08:00

Bazam, bazam, guys!

Sisters I Never Had

2007-12-18T12:22:00.000-08:00

Christmas present to my sisters Dear Abby and Christine Daae. Love, Allie Baba.

Dear Abby and Ms. Daae,
It’s your Allie Baba and I’ve got something to say
I can’t make Christmas cards or give you lessons for come-thou-hither eyes
But hopefully my song can suffice

Merry Christmas to you from me
I offer you my melody
No matter the miles that keep us apart
I always keep your smiles in my heart

Ms. Daae, I love your golden eyes
Your happy laugh, your smile of surprise
I love your cheerful ways
How you always brighten everybody’s days

Merry Christmas to you from me
I offer you my melody
No matter the miles that keep us apart
I always keep your smiles in my heart

Dear Abby, you’re an angel in disguise
Just ask all the guys
Keeping them in line with your come thou hither eyes
You’re there in sunshine and in snow
Even when you’re partying it up in Morocco

Merry Christmas to you from me
I offer you my melody
No matter the miles that keep us apart
I always keep your smiles in my heart

Thank you for being there with me
Even when my song is out of key
And thanks for always singing along
Even when you don’t know the song

Merry Christmas to you from me
I offer you my melody
No matter the miles that keep us apart
I always keep your smiles in my heart
Through the bitter and sweet, through the good and the bad
You’re the sisters I never had

[Untitled, you should name it], October 2007

2007-10-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

Who knows the way to the heart?
Who knows the way it starts?

I didn’t plan it when we met
Two silent strangers only friends of friends
And, since, I’ve tried to forget
How innocent means can lead to unhappy ends

I handed you my heart
Like I hand the pepper and salt across the table
You swore that you’d be mine
As long as you were able

You looked into my eyes the way the sunlight falls on flowering trees
And the way you’d touch my hand, as if you’d always understand my every need
And the way you’d smile to see me near
And the way you’d boast about everything I was, to anyone who’d hear

I handed you my heart
Like I hand the pepper and salt across the table
You swore that you’d be mine
As long as you were able

You look through me as though I am the ghost of true love past
I never know what to think—we were both so sure that it could last
But when the world falls apart and the children cry and the fabric comes undone
And everything’s outta place and there’s just not enough space, there’s only one thing to be done

Steal my heart back from your hands
Like you stole my kisses at midnight
Burn your promises to ash
Like I sometimes burn the dinner, except on purpose

Who knows the way to the heart?
Who knows the way it starts?

Tribute to George Orwell, October 2007

2007-10-14T19:05:00.000-07:00

Hey George
I saw your name the other day
You know you made the editorial page
Of the NY Times

I guess the British government had been keeping tabs on you
They noticed your Bohemian manner of dress
And concluded you were probably a Communist

Which you were at the time

I saw you worked with Tom
I heard you liked his magazine
But you never quite had enough to pay the purchase fee

I guess you kinda liked Tom’s philosophies
But not all of his politics
That’s when you started writing books

After you fought the war

It was in the 1940’s that you gave the British government
A list of pinkos
You said you strongly felt Charlie Chaplin was red at heart

After the Spanish Civil War
Where you fought with the Trotskyites
I heard that was the turning point
I heard you were a Loyalist
And it was in the war you learned what you believed

Became an anti-Stalinist

Oh ho, thanks for Animal Farm
And for 1984
You made the kind of stir
Tom didn’t even ask for
Oh ho, we read your books today
And you know you made a change
Oh ho, hey George

Hey George
I saw your name the other day
You know you made the editorial page
Of the NY Times

You Know You Love Them, unfinished

2007-10-10T15:31:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how things can change in a cell
Let's talk about mRNA and tRNA as well
Our friends who make it possible to transcribe and translate
I know you love them, they are so great

CHORUS!
The mRNA makes transcripts of genes
And takes the transcriptions to the site of our dreams
AKA the RER and cytoplasm--you know it's true
And tRNA makes translation possible for you

Every tRNA dreams of codon recognition
Brought together by ribosomes and peptide bond formation
Then for their honeymoon they went to cytoplasm
For some translocation

Start translation off with initiation
Binds at AUG the start codon
Attach ribosome units, then comes the P site
Once elongation starts it'll all be all right

I Love mRNA, October 2007

2007-10-10T15:20:00.000-07:00

I was in a nucleus the other day, I saw mRNA
It was transcribing things, and it inspired me to sing, yeah
Ah, mRNA
Had it been another day, I might have looked the other way
And I'd have never been aware, but as it is, I'll dream of it tonight,
Ah, mRNA

Movin, yes it is movin, and it is groovin to the ribosome
Movin, yes it is movin, and it is groovin to the ribosome

Don't you know the RER is where the ribosomes are
That connect the messenger RNA to the tRNA
Ah, tRNA
I have never seen the likes of this, how miraculous
tRNA translating things, translating things, it makes me want to sing
Ah, tRNA

Movin, yes it is movin, and it is groovin as it translates
Movin, yes it is movin, and it is groovin as it translates

I was in a nucleus the other day, I saw mRNA
It was transcribing things, and it inspired me to sing, yeah
Ah, mRNA

Movin, yes it is movin, and it is groovin to keep you alive
Movin, yes it is movin, and it is groovin to keep you alive

Sherwood Hymn, October 2007

2007-10-08T23:02:00.000-07:00

Written during the Sunday afternoon session Conference, for the four voice parts represented in Sherwood Up. Yes, a cappella.

For forty days and forty nights Christ fasted
For forty days and forty nights alone
For forty days and forty nights Christ fasted
And faced the adversary on His own

Oui, il etait fort

He faced temptations
And gave us every tool we need
To win salvation:
Christ has set us free.

The bonds of death are broken
We have no need for sorrow
For Jesus Christ, our Savior
Has promised us tomorrow.

And in the Garden of Gethsemane, He wept, He bled
And in the garden there with Mary, He rose up from the dead.

Jesus Christ is my Savior, I have no fear.
Jesus Christ is my Savior, I am of good cheer.

For me I know He gave His life,
For me He gave Himself, a sacrifice

The bonds of death are broken
We have no need for sorrow
For Jesus Christ, our Savior
Has promised us tomorrow.

Christ has set us free.

Please Stay, May 2007

2007-10-08T22:43:00.000-07:00

Good story, ey?

You came into my room that night
Roses in hand for the girl in the spotlight
I was the one you wanted to meet
You swept me off my feet

Sitting backstage, preparing for the show
Warming up the voice and getting ready to go
The curtain's raised, you're not in your seat
I'm on stage, I can't repeat that

Somehow when you're near, I run out of things to fear
Unkind lights and stage fright run away
So maybe I don't know what's right
But I know I want you tonight
I know you're ready to go
But please stay

You've seen me at my worst
Unprepared and unrehearsed
I sing my song and the audience laughs
At my unintentional gaffes
I see you walking away
Won't you stay

Somehow when you're near, I run out of things to fear
Unkind lights and stage fright run away
So maybe I don't know what's right
But I know I want you tonight
I know you're ready to go
But please stay

I... can't play
You don't turn back as you walk away
Theatre doors close behind
I'm the last thing on your mind

Somehow when you're near, I run out of things to fear
Unkind lights and stage fright run away
So maybe I don't know what's right
But I know I want you tonight
I know you're gone, you're gone
But please stay

Meet Me At The Printing Press, October 2007

2007-10-08T22:35:00.000-07:00

I read Heart of Darkness a few years back, didn't realize at the time that Marlowe had it right
Had it right when he said what makes a great man great is to have something to say, to have something to say
And say it

I got something to say
I got something to say, hey
I got something to say
I got something to say, hey

Meet me at the printing press
The place where thoughts can come to life
Meet me at the printing press
We'll change the world with black and white
And if we die before we're through
Just remember that the printer will remember you

Let others choose the question mark to be their mode of punctuation
Let you and I make our lives exclamations

Have you got something to say
Have you got something to say, hey
Have you got something to say
Have you got something to say, then say it

Meet me at the printing press
The place where thoughts can come to life
Meet me at the printing press
We'll change the world with black and white
And if we die before we're through
Just remember that the printer will remember you

Why don't you say what's on your mind
Why don't you say what's on your mind
Are you afraid of what they'll say
Are you afraid of what they'll say
Don't be afraid of what they'll say
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid

Get something to say
Get something to say, then say it
Get something to say
Get something to say, then say it

Meet me at the printing press
The place where thoughts can come to life
Meet me at the printing press
We'll change the world with black and white
And if we die before we're through
Just remember that the printer will remember you

Meet me at the printing press
Meet me at the printing press
Meet me at the printing press

Vaulted Ceilings, September 2007

2007-10-08T22:30:00.000-07:00

I was feeling particularly inspired by scenery from a story I was writing.

Dawn broke, light splashed through the windows and soaked all the papers that littered the floor
No one spoke, the hall is deserted: no one goes here anymore
Vaulted ceilings open on emptiness framed by the windows and flooded with light
No footsteps approach here, encroach on the silence
And in the great hall your soul can take flight

Welcome to the hall of abandoned dreams

Stained glass at the end of the apse, so protruding out into the sky
This is your sanctuary, here in the mountains, this is the place where no one lies
No one judges, no one scorns, no one mocks and no one mourns
There's no one here

Welcome to the hall of abandoned dreams

Grow wings if it's in you
There's no reason not to fly

The souls of the forgotten are watching from the corners of corridors down the nave
Unused to visitors except for the brave
For who can face the dreams of yesterday
Without erasing the dreams of yesterday

Welcome to the hall of abandoned dreams

Grow wings if it's in you
There's no reason not to fly

Dawn broke, light splashed through the windows and soaked all the papers that littered the floor
No one spoke, the hall is deserted: no one goes here anymore
Vaulted ceilings open on emptiness framed by the windows and flooded with light
No footsteps approach here, encroach on the silence
And in the great hall your soul can take flight

Grow wings if it's in you
There's no reason not to fly

Came to Pass, November 2005

2007-10-08T22:29:00.001-07:00

It's like this EFY song, guys! :^D Wrote it for my BoM class freshman year.

Lost in the wilderness, Lehi and his family alone
Physically worn, privately torn, and so far from home
The past is gone, but still they travel on

Abinadi standing there before the king
With a fateful message to bring
His words bear witness of the divinity of Christ
They will cost him his life

Troubled by wickedness, they’re searching for relief
Knowledge to comfort them in their grief
Didn’t the prophets say, trials never came to stay
They came to pass

Moroni on the hill, the last one of his race
Finished abridging and burying the plates
His father, mother, all his loved ones are dead
We can know his heart bled

CHORUS
INTERLUDE

Trials come and they can tear us apart
Leaving us weeping with broken hearts
Fiery darts assail us even as we fight
In the name of Right

Troubled by wickedness, we’re searching for relief
Something to comfort us in our grief
Don’t the prophets say, trials never came to stay

So we must live our lives
To become more like Christ
So when our probation ends
We can go home again
And stand before our Father and say:
We came to stay

Not Coming Back, August 2005

2007-10-08T22:26:00.000-07:00

This song makes me cry sometimes when I sing it.

I cannot say the day things changed
Only that they did
Will they ever be the same, you ask me
But in your heart you know

It’s been years since childhood ran away
It’s been years since adolescence took the car
Today you’re realizing that they’re not coming back
They’re not coming back

Didn’t even blink but in that instant your life changed
There’s a chasm where your youth used to be
What have you done with all those days?
I guess time flies

It’s been years since childhood ran away
It’s been years since adolescence took the car
Today you’re realizing that they’re not coming back—
They’re not coming back

You always knew you would get older
Never a doubt crossed your mind
Don’t look over you shoulder at the past
A pillar of salt gets left behind

It’s been years since childhood ran away
It’s been years since adolescence took the car
Today you’re realizing that they’re not coming back—
They’re not coming back

Risk, unfinished

2007-10-08T22:25:00.000-07:00

So I've been working on this song since like 2005, and it never finishes itself, so it might as well go here in the meantime.

Took a risk
Add another tally to my name
That’s all it is
My claim to fame

Said the things on my mind
Maybe it was a mistake
Can’t go back in time
That’s just a risk you take

Made a choice
Took a step and won’t turn around
Heard a voice
And no one to be found

Hope what I’m doin is right
Pray what I’m doin is good
Hope I don’t mess up my life
Pray things go as they should

And I’m takin a risk
Makin decisions
Evaluating choices
Remembering visions
Of how I want my life
Hey, how I want my life

If I try
I know I will succeed
In becoming
Who I want to be

Enhance my mind,
Improve my soul
Until I gain control
Of me

And who do I want to be?
Something more than me

Isabel, September 2007

2007-10-08T22:23:00.000-07:00

To my wee sister. Guess what her name is.

I left home a few years ago
And didn't look back, and didn't look back
A brave little girl running off on her own
And I didn't look back, didn't look back
I never guessed all the things I could miss
On this journey that took me so far
Where I once was uncertain, I've lifted the curtain
To face all my truths with my trusty guitar

And oh, Isabel, with your sunbleached hair
You say I don't care
But oh, Isabel, what words can express
What the heart cannot say

Nobody told me how hard it would be
When you lose all your friends and the people you love
Nobody warned me how much I would lose
In my focused pursuit, my focused pursuit
I never guessed all the things I could miss
On this journey that took me so far
Where I once was uncertain, I've lifted the curtain
To face all my truths with my trusty guitar

And oh, Isabel, with your sunbleached hair
You say I don't care
But oh, Isabel, what words can express
What the heart cannot say

Our childhood bunkbed seems so long ago
And the days of our secrets are past
Your tears on the phone as you mourn my new home
Are stronger than you know

And oh, Isabel, with your sunbleached hair
You say I don't care
But oh, Isabel, what words can express
What the heart cannot say

It's a long way home
It's a long way home
It's a long way home

I'll meet you there someday

38th Parallel, July 2007

2007-10-08T22:19:00.000-07:00

This song is dedicated to my stalker.

And once again, we're at a stalemate
And like a magnet to my mind
Your words at once attract, repel
Our very own thirty-eighth parallel

You said it best yourself
You knew it all along
I have a mind of my own
And I will sing my own song
Waiting for me is just a waste of time
I defy

Broken promises like glass around my feet
Mistakes made in the past I don't want to repeat
And in your eyes is unmistakable fear
I confirm, there is nothing for you here

You said it best yourself
You knew it all along
I have a mind of my own
And I will sing my own song
Waiting for me is just a waste of time
I defy

I can see that you won't fight
It's in your voice and in the words you will not write
I'll say submission isn't quite my cup of tea
You're not the man for me

You said it best yourself
You knew it all along
I have a mind of my own
And I will sing my own song
Waiting for me is just a waste of time
I defy

And once again, we're at a stalemate
And like a magnet to my mind
Your words at once attract, repel
Our very own thirty-eighth parallel

Soulcolor, August 2007

2007-10-08T22:14:00.000-07:00

Colors are so inspiring.

Dawn broke, it left streaks in the sky
Clouds soaked them up as they moved carelessly by
Every moment leaves her speechless, every ray upon her skin
Leaves her singing, let the day begin

And the words won't come
And the chords won't come

Red is for the courage that makes her move along
Orange is for the vibrance that keeps her spirit strong
Yellow's for the joy, the joy

She's losing control

And the words won't come
And the chords won't come

Green for the life in her embrace
Indigo is for the kindness in her face
And white is for the love, the love

And the words won't come
And the chords won't come

She's losing control
Of the colors of her soul

And violet's for the loyalty
That keeps her in the fight
And blue is for the eyes
That keep her up at night, at night, at night

And the words won't come
And the chords won't come

She's losing control
Of the colors of her soul

Girl On The Road, April 2007

2007-10-08T22:08:00.000-07:00

Can you tell I am obsessed with freedom?

They called her Loner
They called her, they called her
They called her Loner
They called her, they called her

It was a real dark night in the early spring
She didn't know quite what was happening when they
Bashed the door right in
Told her it was time to start runnin
Good thing there's courage in her bones
And adventure in her blood
Adventure in her blood

They called her Loner
The road was in her bones
They called her Loner
When she ran, she ran alone
She ran alone

Too late to think the first time
She's already hit the ground
Jump up and brush yourself off
Flash a smile and take a look around
Everybody's watchin
No point in stoppin
So keep on runnin

They called her Loner
The road was in her bones
They called her Loner
When she ran, she ran alone
She ran alone

Time freezes for the Loner
Time freezes for the Loner
She's made of sunshine, made of light
She won't give up without a fight
She's the breeze on a summer's day
The spirit of the runaway
She's freedom itself

She's freedom itself

They called her Loner
They called her, they called her
They called her Loner
They called her Girl On The Road
Girl On The Road

Spring melts into summer, and summer melts into fall
Girl on the road keeps running faster than them all
She knows no surprise
There is fire in her eyes

They called her Loner
The road was in her bones
They called her Loner
When she ran, she ran alone
She ran alone
They called her Loner
The road was in her bones
They called her Loner
When she ran, she ran alone
She ran alone

She's freedom itself

Just as Happy Free, January 2007

2007-10-08T22:03:00.000-07:00

He closed the door on his way out and I wrote this song.

The sky is dark with clouds
There'll be no stars tonight
Snow lies thick upon the ground
Everything will be all right

I pass your door
And know that someday it won't hurt anymore
I won't remember the pain I felt
I'll just end up with someone else

Here we go again, here we go
Here we go again, here we go

And even now I walk the street
And think of people yet to meet
And all the things I never planned
Cuz you were holding my hand
Something better's on the way
Tomorrow looks like a good day

Here we go again, here we go
Here we go again, here we go

Mirror, mirror, in my hand
Who's the luckiest girl in the land?
Mirror, mirror, on my wall
I'm the luckiest of them all.

Here we go
Here we go

And though I cry to see it over
I'll sing a new song to the beat of a four-leafed clover
I was happy while it lasted, but now I see
I'm just as happy free

Let Me Dream, January 2007

2007-10-08T21:58:00.000-07:00

Yay breakup songs.

Morning breaks
Light crashed harshly on my face
Close the blinds
Leave the daylight on the other side
Can't face the day
Rosy fingers beckon, I turn away
Morning's not as happy as it seems
My only refuge is my dreams

Let me dream
Let me dream away my sorrows
I'm right back at the start
Picking up the scattered pieces of my shattered heart

The forecast is for rain
It's clear that storms are on their way
But my umbrella's lost
I could get another, but at what cost?

Let me dream
Let me dream away my sorrows
I'm right back at the start
Picking up the scattered pieces of my shattered heart

So close the door on your way out
I need some time to figure myself out
In one day or two I will be fine
But right now I need to leave the world behind

It's time
It's time
It's time

Let me dream
Let me dream away my sorrows
I'm right back at the start
Picking up the scattered pieces of my shattered heart

Whether Or Not He Knows, August 2007

2007-10-08T21:54:00.000-07:00

A song about writing a song. What more could you ask for.

Picked up my pen and paper, didn't quite know how to start
Writing songs can be so hard
They have to come from the heart
Wrap your hair around your finger
Pen a line about the one who lingers
In your mind after he's gone, after he's gone

Pick up that paper and pen, scribble lines as the rain starts fallin again
Everything might turn out wrong, but it doesn't matter, he deserves a song
He makes you sing
He makes you sing

He's got
Blue eyes and an angel's face
A smile I've only seen in dreams
Blue eyes and an angel's face
He's everything he seems
And whether or not he knows
I'm his

Other people are quick to judge, don't pay them any mind
They'll take whatever you give, so don't leave anything behind
Instead, remember him
Remember him

He's got
Blue eyes and an angel's face
A smile I've only seen in dreams
Blue eyes and an angel's face
He's everything he seems
And whether or not he knows
I'm his

It's no use to lie,
The muse won't hear it
It's not use to say goodbye
So why fear it?
Maybe he doesn't care
So why pretend
But you can always sing
A song for your best friend

He's got
Blue eyes and an angel's face
A smile I've only seen in dreams
Blue eyes and an angel's face
He's everything he seems
And whether or not he knows
I'm his

I'm his

Christmas Song, November 2006

2007-10-08T21:53:00.001-07:00

Back in the days when I was in love that one time.

I remember the day it all began
It was a Monday afternoon in late October
The time read 4:26 PM, and it was then that I realized
Maybe this was love

Maybe it shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but I wasn’t expecting this
When I looked into your eyes, without even a kiss
I guess that I had never been made aware
Of just how much I could care

I just don’t understand how I could be so blessed
I never thought that I could feel this kind of happiness
It’s something I never thought I’d find
You make me shine

Old friends ask me how I’ve changed, they can tell I’m someone new
And I just have to smile, cuz I owe it all to you
When I’m with you, my worries fade
In the desert you’re my shade

I just don’t understand how I could be so blessed
I never thought that I could feel this kind of happiness
It’s something I never thought I’d find
You make me shine

And when I feel my hope is gone, you give me your shoulder to lean on
And when I just need someone to care, you’re always there
I don’t need to be afraid in the night
Cuz in the darkness you’re my light

I just don’t understand how I could be so blessed
I never thought that I could feel this kind of happiness
It’s something I never thought I’d find
You make me shine

I just don’t understand how I could be so blessed
I never thought that I could feel this kind of happiness
It’s something I never thought I’d find
You make me shine

Commission Song, July 2007

2007-10-08T21:52:00.001-07:00

Wrote this to be the intro for my first CD, Soulcolor.

Hi, my name is Allie
And I’m a musician
I like to write songs for you, songs for you
For all occasions
I’ve got my own motivations
I like singing, you like music, whoo
I can play guitar and piano too
Basically whatever you want me to do
Just tap your feet to the beat while
I go on to enumerate my own style
I can write a love song for your wife
A song about the best day of your life
I can write about your favorite childhood game
And if you have to say that

You’d like something else
In the song I made, baby, baby
I can change it up
And I will do it before it’s too late

You want it fast, you want it slow
You want it performed live, or recorded to go
I gotcha covered, no need to stress
Songs by commission, your girl’s the best
Deadlines, no problem, just give it an hour or two
We’ll get it all worked out, and write that song for you
And if you find your tune is lackin
I apologize for slackin
But it’s okay, don’t fear
100% your money back guaranteed here

and 1…. Are you listening?
Do you hear me?
I said, 100% money back guarantee
So what you waiting for
Come over here and I’ll play you a chord
You be bored
And I’ll just keep on writing
Until you walk away with your song and a smile
It will be worth your while, your while
And if you say

You’d like something else
In the song I made, baby, baby
I can change it up
And I will do it before it’s too late

Dreamless, May 2006

2007-10-08T21:50:00.000-07:00

I was broken.

It’s been a while since you first promised me
You said no matter where I went, there you’d be
You said you’d fight for me, protect me, and defend
And when the twilight came, you promised me that then

You’d sing me to sleep
You said you’d sing me to sleep
You said that I would always keep your heart
You’d sing me to sleep
You said you’d sing me to sleep
And I’m still waiting; have you forgotten

It’s been a long time, I understand
And time breaks the will as distance breaks apart the clutching hands
It was too good to be true, I always knew
Now I just have to forget you

You’d sing me to sleep
You said you’d sing me to sleep
You said that I would always keep your heart
Now I lie awake
Because I can’t seem to forget
And I’m still waiting for you, have you forgotten

It wasn’t always thus but I’m starting to think
The ship that held our hearts afloat was meant to sink
And I am meant to find some steady shore
Upon whose sandy banks I’ll find something more

And I’ll sing myself to sleep
I will sing myself to sleep
Although you may keep my heart
And I won’t lie awake
Cuz I’ve got better things to do
So I’ll sing myself to sleep and forget you

The Silversmith, sometime in 2004

2007-10-08T21:49:00.001-07:00

My first hymn. Twentieth century solo a cappella.

And the Silversmith
Once more
Places silver
On the flame
Heat
Burning
He watches as the dross burns off
And there He is
Left
With just the silver
Pure
And He can see His image in it

Where Is My Knight, July 2006

2007-10-08T21:47:00.000-07:00

My first song for guitar.

Ever since the beginning
We believed that fairy tales can come true
But when faced with reality
We reevaluate our view

The night is dark, the peril’s near
I am alone and full of fear

Where is my knight
To save me from this shadowed fate
Where is my knight
To save me before it grows too late

I’ve been waiting for so long
And starting to believe that all my dreams were wrong
I’m beginning to let all my stories go
Say goodbye to the knight I never came to know

Where is my knight
To save me from this shadowed fate
Where is my knight
To save me before it grows too late

Running so fast
Reflecting on my past
Running so fast
Escaping from my past

I turn around and no one’s there
Someone save me from my ontic nightmare

em D am
C G D am

Where’s my knight
Upon his valiant steed?
Where’s my knight
The one who’s coming to save me?

His armor’s glinting in the sun
He knows that I’m the one

Where’s my knight
He’s on his way
There’s my knight
He brings with him the day

The Holly and the Ivy [Are Both Parasites], April 2006

2007-10-08T21:45:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, for so such stories begin
In an Eastern city there lived two friends
One grew jealous at the addition of a third
She was initially hurt

Original feelings of displacement soon gave way
Revulsion turned to friendship and go turned into stay
Funny how it happened, unlikely friends forget
But the Catalyst hasn’t yet

The holly and the ivy, when they are both full-grown
They say the holly bears the crown

Once upon a summer, the Catalyst left to find her soul
The two she left behind seemed sad enough to see her go
But when she finally returned, at long last
It seemed the friendship was past

Oh, the winter came, Catalyst betrayed
By both beloved friends, all in one day
And they wonder why she’s changed

The holly and the ivy, when they are both full-grown
They say the holly bears the crown
The holly and the ivy, when they are both full-grown
Are both parasites

Once upon a time, for so such stories start
In a Western town there lives a girl with a broken heart
Sadly remembering the faces of two friends
She herself brought together, who cut her out in the end

Nevergone, April 2006

2007-10-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

Ah, memories.

Locked in a palace of stone
Surrounded, yet all alone
Swimming in daydreams, drowning in nightmares
Of what went wrong there
Afraid to blink, won’t close my eyes
Lest something take me by surprise
The past is never gone

Oh, I just don’t get it
All I ever do it try to forget it
Still I remember that December
Oh, rescue me
I’m trapped inside a terrible memory
Try as I may, I can never escape

Everywhere I turn a blockade
Preventing any possible escape
The only window that I see
A view into my history
The place where I used to reign
Now synonymous with pain
The past is never gone

Oh, I just don’t get it
It’s been so long, yet still I regret it
And still I recall I gave them my all
Oh, save me, please
I’m crying, my heart’s dying and I’m on my knees
Screaming out loud with no way out

I’m so tired of this game
Just give me all the blame
And let me forget your name

CHORUS til fade out

Seven, January 2006

2007-10-08T21:42:00.002-07:00

You can probably figure it out.

It’s been seven days since you said I’ve changed
I guess I cannot disagree
In confirmation I reply:
I guess I've just moved on

It’s been seven months since I was there with you
And now the distance comes into play
We always knew it couldn’t stay the same
I guess we’ve both moved on

And I don’t want to lose this friendship
I love you too well for that
But I think we both need time to grow
And I don’t know…

Seven years from now, where will we be?
Will our hearts have grown apart?
Will we both have moved on?

No Time For Fear, February 2006

2007-10-08T21:42:00.001-07:00

This song was actually kind of random. In my life, I guess I do spend a disproportionate amount of time thinking about what it would be like to run away, but there wasn’t really anyone in particular the song was written for, except for perhaps people out there who are scared to take risks.

I’ll pack my bags silently
Everyone will think it’s just an ordinary day
No one will notice that we’ve gone
Til we’ve already run ten thousand miles away
I’ve got my passport in my purse
And the time and the money to spare
Don’t tell me you honestly think that it’s not worse
Stagnating here than getting lost out there

I’ll stand all night outside in the cold
Beggin for another chance to go before we get too old
Don’t tell me that you’re scared
No time for fear these days
We always said we’d run away

We’ll never have to come back
No one can stop us once we’re out of here
The world will keep on turning, our hearts will keep on burning
Come on, I think it’s time you cast away your fear

CHORUS

Something feels so wrong
I’ve been waiting far too long
Don’t you see how I cry myself to sleep
Let’s leave

Stand all night outside
Beg for another chance
No time for fear
We always said we’d run away

CHORUS

Six Feet Underground, January 2006

2007-10-08T21:41:00.002-07:00

Oh, boy.

On the phone night after night
Kinda thought that everything was more or less all right
Never knew he had something to say
Had to find it all out by myself that fateful day
When in the arms of another girl
He dares to catch my eye
Locked in a kiss of evident bliss
He’s kissing my dreams goodbye

Before I even knew he was digging
I found myself six feet underground
My head’s still spinning
Watch my world go around and around
Oh, rip my heart out at the seams
Say goodbye to all my broken dreams

Asks me for a chance to explain
I tell him no thank you, and walk away
Seems to me he’s done this one too many times before
I guess I only wish he’d feel some remorse
He only shrugs it off
Doesn’t miss a beat
Guess it’s true you get burned when you
Play with that kinda heat

CHORUS

Torn, lonely, lost
It all came at such a cost
Time to erase the intimations of
Our love

He was digging
Now I’m six feet underground
My head is spinning
And I’m six feet underground
Oh, rip my heart out at the seams
Say goodbye to all my broken dreams

Nowhere Else To Go, December 2005

2007-10-08T21:41:00.001-07:00

Some people can be really bad at being friends sometimes.

Spent some time looking at the past
And I’ve just got one favor to ask
Though I know your inclination is to lie
Don’t let the moment pass you by

One secret spoken
One friendship broken
One too many a confidence betrayed
We’ve run out of days.

So I take deep breaths again
Try to soothe a soul that cannot be tamed
Shield the heart from pain with calluses of apathy
Build me up a wall of indifference
Sweet indifference

Broken, bleeding, but not dead
Spirit ripped, but still alive
And the memory of everything you said
Keeping me awake at night
It's not safe to feel when your nightmares are real

So I take deep breaths again
Try to soothe a soul that cannot be tamed
Shield the heart from pain with calluses of apathy
Build me up a wall of indifference
Sweet indifference

Lost in a wood, no one in sight
The moon is clouded over, and there is no light
Where do we all go
When there is nowhere else to go?
There's nowhere else to go

Some say I should simply adjust
But after all, it was a betrayal of my trust
I don’t need more fair-weather friends
So this is where it ends.

CHORUS x2

Goodbye Secrets, November 2005

2007-10-08T21:40:00.000-07:00

Why do boys lie?

Never let me look into your eyes
Couldn’t bear to let me see through all your alibis
I don’t care where I don’t care when I don’t care how
All I care is now

Oh, goodbye secrets
Smoke and mirrors, I bid you adieu
Spiderwebs and silver, call my name
I will answer you

Every lie you spoke
Underneath your clandestine cloak
Every word of deceit
Comes back to haunt me

CHORUS

In my world, honesty’s a must
I need somebody I can trust
Goodbye secrets—

CHORUS

Declaration of Independence, October 2005

2007-10-08T21:39:00.000-07:00

Surprise: this one had its roots when my mother came to visit me in Utah for the first time. My parents have serious problems with my independence; they are now in retrospect realizing that all this time they should have been spending time with me, they spent at work, and so they overcompensate when they see me (and sometimes from 2000 miles away). It's... fun.

Time
Flowing through my fluid frame
I’m
Still thriving on that flame
Of hope of independence, of longing to be free
No one will bind me

It may have been pure gold but it was still a cage
They said I was too young, and wisdom comes with age
But look at what I’ve fought and see what my tears have bought
Maybe they’re wrong

This is my declaration of independence
I am no longer bound
They tried to clip my wings, so I flew to higher things
And I’m not coming down

Things far below, behind
Still make claims on my mind
Distract me from what’s here
Daydreams of yesteryear
I guess I can’t escape
Maybe I’ll just embrace
Those things which compromise my sanity

CHORUS

Yearning for freedom has been my greatest curse
My strongest passion, the inspiration for my verse
So let the waters rage, and let the stormwinds blow
At least I am my own

They may attempt oppression, but chains can never hold
The girl who’s given all she had, just to free her soul
And when the colors fade and music’s just a memory
She’ll still be free

CHORUS

Not a Love Song, October 2005

2007-10-08T21:38:00.000-07:00

Self-explanatory.

Turn on the radio and what do you hear
It’s all about that crazy little thing called love
But think of all the girls whose hearts have been broken
And all because of those three words spoken
And that’s why I wrote this song

This isn’t a love song, it’s a song about facing the world all alone
This isn’t a love song, it’s a song about being on your own
This isn’t a love song, it’s a song about learning to be strong
And finding the answers in you

Wake up to find you’re one your own
You left him, or maybe he left you (in any case)
No one to hold you when you cry
Or touch your shoulder when you sigh
You’re treading water by yourself in a dangerous sea

CHORUS

This song’s for all the tears that have been shed
This song’s for all the broken hearts that have bled
This song’s for all the times you wish you could forget
But you can’t forget

This isn’t a love song

This isn’t a love song, it’s a song about facing the world all alone
This isn’t a love song, it’s a song about being on your own
This isn’t a love song, it’s a song about today
This isn’t a love song, it’s a song about faith
This isn’t a love song, it’s a song about strength
And finding the answers…

Under the Stars, August 2005

2007-10-08T21:37:00.002-07:00

This was written the day after I wrote Asphyxiated. In the recording I switched up the words of the second verse but only because my mom made me. The real words refer to his Swiss sweatshirt that he always wore, even when it was way hot outside. He’d just push up the sleeves. It was funny.

Sweet remembering our last night together
Walking through the neighborhood at night
Sweet remembering you whispering my name
And we were under the stars

Under the stars, and you held me in your arms
Under the stars, and you smiled in my eyes
Under the stars, and I remember we made promises
Can we keep them? [I don’t know]

Sweet remembering your tone of voice when you said how much you’d miss me
When I’m gone
Sweet remembering you wore your sweatshirt in the middle of July
And we were under the stars

CHORUS

Lookin up now to the sky
Sweet remembering your eyes
A million suns glow in the dark
Sweet remembering how close I felt to your heart

VERSE 1
CHORUS

Asphyxiated, August 2005

2007-10-08T21:37:00.001-07:00

Life is not happy when you are not on speaking terms with your boyfriend.

The windows are closed
In the caverns of my mind, I see his face
And everywhere I turn is darkness
I can’t get out of this place, hey

The windows are closed
Silence echoes in this empty room
The cold it chills me to the bone
But I don’t know where else to go, hey

And I am smothered in darkness
And I am trapped within a corner of my mind
And all around the quiet accumulates
The silence asphyxiates

The windows are closed
And there’s not a door in sight
Outside I know the sky is bright but I am trapped inside
And the windows are closed

CHORUS x3

Rain, June 2005

2007-10-08T21:36:00.000-07:00

This song was written a few weeks before I left Maryland for good. What would happen when I left?

Walkin down the street I’ve walked down a hundred times before
It’s never meant more
Lookin at the lake, the sky, the sun on the trees
Procrastination at its worst, and I have to say goodbye

Where do we go from here?
Tomorrow is uncertain as the breeze, yeah
Where do we go from here?
Indecision lingers in the rain, in the rain

Remembering times with those I loved
Tryin to face the moment of farewell
Never dreamt that things would be this way
But hey, hey: I can’t stay

CHORUS

Do you know how it feels to care, and not be there?
To have your body and your heart two thousand miles apart?

VERSE 1

Where do we go from here?
In the rain

Who Will Catch My Dreams? Jan 2005

2007-10-08T21:35:00.000-07:00

This song was written when I first realized I had to graduate early. It was originally written for piano, violin and cello.

I wake up to my alarm
Heralding the start of a brand new day, hey
I look outside, the sky is dark
Why has my Technicolor world all turned to grey?

I don’t know where all my dreams have gone
I guess they’ve donned their wings and finally flown away
I don’t know where all my dreams have gone
Who will catch them for me?

I’m so tired of the dark and of the night
Never knew how trapped I was until I saw the light
But now I know
I have to go

CHORUS

One more day of silence
One more day of desperation
Tomorrow beckons to me, mouths my name
But Today won’t let me leave

Time is passing, dreams are slipping away
Who will catch my dreams?

I don’t know where all my dreams have gone
I guess they’ve flown away
I don’t know where all my dreams have gone
Who will catch my dreams?

Intro Schmintro

2007-10-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

Hey kids, I was asked by a friend for a copy of my lyrics. And then it struck me: why not just create a blog just for lyrics? So this is my lyric blog. Huzzah.